Amy's Birth

My friend Amy just had her baby, and I was there!!! I am so honored and thrilled to have witnessed baby Timothy's peaceful birth. Let me back up a little and tell how I was afforded this amazing opportunity...

Several of my friends, mostly fellow homeschool moms, are pregnant, planning homebirths, and seeing Sue, a traditional midwife. Sue is an amazing, wonderful lady, who has nine children, born unassisted into their father's hands, including a set of twins and two breeches! She has been attending births since the 1980s.

I had loaned my friend Kristine, who is also pregnant and seeing Sue, several midwifery books. Sue was at Kristine's home one day for a prenatal appointment, and saw my books. Apparently because of my choice of reading material, and my choosing to act as my own midwife for my most recent pregnancy and birth, Sue thought I would make a good birth attendant! Wow! I was sure thrilled and honored about that!

Jennifer, who was the birth attendant at my second son's birth, used to help attend births with Sue, but has moved out of state. Sue has lost one of the main attendants she could call, and has had to find others. I was elated she thought I could be an option! She has offered my name as a possibility for an attendant to my friends who are using her, and several want me to attend! In preparation, I took a neonatal resuscitation class, which was highly educational.

Back to Amy's story! She had told me that she was feeling drawn to a solo birth with just her and God. I was very supportive of this, and sent her lots of links on unassisted birth. So, I never knew if Amy would wind up calling me to attend. She did call one night around 10pm to let me know she was in labor. She was just giving me a heads up that she might call me later to come. They were checking into a hotel to birth, and she gave me the room number. She didn't want to homebirth due to ongoing home renovations, etc.

I got all my stuff together that I thought might come in handy just in case she called. I made a pitcher of ice water, grabbed a bottle of maple syrup (I was just trying to think of something for quick sugar and food if needed for energy), got my birth kit bag from the attic (it wasn't the complete stuff I had on hand for my unassisted birth, but still had some birthy items in it), some socks (in case either one of us had cold feet!), and a trash bag (I was planning to take any bloody hotel towels home with me to wash.) I actually plan to get a better prepared bag together to bring for my other friends' upcoming births, but this was just some stuff I quickly grabbed.

I attempted to sleep some time later, and had been constantly thinking and praying for her. When she had called, she said she'd been in labor for around 24 hours, and was going to try and get some rest. I never had fallen asleep when the phone rang around 1am. It was her husband Brian, who said Amy wanted me to come over! I said I'd be there in about ten minutes. Amy said later Brian called me about 1:20am.

I grabbed my stuff and headed over. Brian answered the door whispering and holding a flashlight. They had a nice suite, and all the other five kids were sleeping on the beds. Amy was in the bathtub. She said contractions had been coming one after the other, but had slowed down when she got in the tub.

I offered her some of the water I had brought, and she drank a lot. I told her I had maple syrup if she wanted any from a spoon or mixed into water, but she didn't. I asked if she wanted any food, and she had Brian bring her some peanuts, and I think she may have managed to eat a few. She was cold, so I put a towel around her shoulders, and we ran more hot water. I offered to blow the hair dryer in her direction as there was no bathroom heater, but the towel helped enough. I offered to apply pressure to her low back during contractions, and she wanted me to. She quietly breathed through contractions, and during the time we sat there, they seemed to get very frequent. I think she just got a little rest from the water, but it didn't last long.

I don't know how long she stayed in the tub, but she thought she had to use the bathroom and got out. I'm thinking she probably is getting ready to have the baby, as I thought I had to go during one of my births, but it was actually the baby. I threw some chux pads on the bathroom floor, and spread out some towels in case she wanted to birth there. She wanted to pee, but couldn't sit down. I told her she could pee in the floor, but she didn't.

Brian was sick from something and had to lay down. She put on a depends underwear so she could walk around without leaving a messy trail on the hotel floor. I grabbed a waterproof sheet from my birth bag and laid it down on the floor beside the bed in case she wanted to birth there.

Amy sat on the birth ball by the bed, and Brian lay there and held her hand. I tried to keep the ball from rolling away, and still applied back pressure as needed, but she soon didn't need back pressure anymore, as she was past that stage of labor.

She needed a place to birth. She wanted to try and sit on a chair. I brought her one, but she couldn't sit down. She stood there and reached down to feel. Brian asked if it was the head, and she said it was the sac. I quickly looked around, and found a leather ottoman, which I sat down in front of her, in case she wanted to try and sit or hold onto it.

She got down on her knees, and rested her arms on the ottoman. She tried to get the depends off and needed help, so I tore them off. I was on one side, and Brian on the other. Amy asked me did I wear gloves when I caught my babies. I said I've never caught my babies, my husband did, without gloves, and once when covered in pressure treated sawdust! I said we didn't even wash our hands. I guess that may have made her feel better, as there was no time for gloves!

Brian and I looked at each other to see who would catch, and I think had a quick few words of discussion, and he stepped over to catch. I was glad, not because I wouldn't be thrilled to catch a new baby, but because I cherish birthing my children into their father's hands, and I wanted Amy and Brian to have the same experience.

(I didn't think he had ever caught any of his babies, but Amy told me later he had caught one at the last minute, when the attending midwife said she couldn't get to the baby from the position Amy was in, and Brian would have to catch.)

The baby easily emerged into Brian's waiting hands, while I was saying "Jesus." (I called out to Jesus when my own babies were exiting my body, too!) The baby still had the sac on partway like a little sleeping bag. I helped Amy get her leg over the cord so she could turn around and sit down, and then Brian handed her their baby. Another boy! They have all boys, and one little girl.

I got a towel to lay over the baby and we all admired him. I said that he was asleep. He had his eyes closed, and was not crying or moving. Brian checked the time (2:22am) and called Sue, who still hadn't made it because she had much farther to drive than I did.

I began to rub the baby and talk to him to make sure he was breathing. We were all a little concerned. Brian was still on the phone with Sue, who reminded him that she had left an emergency birth kit with a bulb syringe in it. I found it, and very gently sucked his mouth and nose.

He had opened his eyes just a little very briefly, and made a little sound. I mentioned how Christopher had made a squeak and then just looked at us. This baby however, kept sleeping, and we wanted to be sure he was fine. I had moved him around a little, and kept rubbing his back and bottoms of his feet. I very gently blew at his face, and he would open his eyes, then shut them again. I did this a few times, and each time, he would open his eyes. I had one hand on his chest, and he had a good, strong, fast heartbeat, and I had noted earlier that he had moved his foot a little when I had rubbed it. I pulled away the towel a little, and pointed out his arm was flexed. He was obviously getting pink, and by then, I could see his little chest breathing. He was just having a very gentle transition, and sleeping, but we all wanted to be sure he was fine. Finally, we were all satisfied he was breathing well, and I got up and Brian took my place.

Amy and Brian were now able to enjoy meeting their new baby, and I was able to fade into the background. The other kids woke up and were so excited to meet their new baby brother! I did whatever cleanup was needed, and Sue finally arrived, after first accidentally visiting a room in the hotel next door! While I was busy cleaning, they cut the cord, Amy birthed the placenta, and climbed into bed. I left some snacks and drinks beside her, and left just before Sue was going to examine her for tears. Before I had left, I was in the kitchen, and Brian came in holding the baby and showing him to me. He was wide awake, and looked right at me. His eyes were shining in the dim light.

I was on birth high, and got home about 3:30, so I was only gone a couple of hours. My husband, Matt, and seven month old baby, Isaac, were both awake. He hadn't been awake for long, but was happy to see me and be able to nurse back to sleep. I excitedly told Matt about the birth, and could hardly sleep that night, but just replayed the events in my mind, and remembered the baby's eyes, so pure and light and shining. Even when I finally did sleep, I just dreamed about it all.

Our Fourth Birth (intentional unassisted homebirth!)

This baby was purposely conceived in great love on Christmas Eve. I think I ovulated a couple of days later and so technically it could have been sperm from another day, but it was on Christmas Eve that my husband Matt told me that he felt led to give me a "very small present." I knew what he meant as we had recently had a miscarriage, and I had told him I wanted more kids. I only had a couple of menstrual cycles after the miscarriage, but up until Christmas Eve, he had been choosing to use condoms.

I then began to take my morning temperature so I would know when I ovulated, and about two days later, my temperature went up and stayed up! A pregnancy test a couple of weeks later confirmed it, and I calculated my due date, based on suspected ovulation date, to be Sept. 19. We immediately realized this to be when we take our annual roadtrip halfway across the country and camp at a large music festival. Matt practices all year and competes in the guitar contest, the National Flatpick Championship.

I planned to not hire a midwife for either prenatal care or the birth. I felt very comfortable doing my own prenatal care, and after our last birth, an unassisted due to fast labor, we were so spoiled by the experience that we didn't want anyone there for any future births. I wanted to wait as long as possible to tell most people. I hadn't told anyone I was pregnant when I had the miscarriage and was so glad I didn't have to go back and tell everyone the bad news. I wanted to get past the first trimester at least before telling others.

I eventually got a blood pressure machine, a fetoscope for listening to the heartbeat, and some urinalysis strips. The first trimester was just waiting, which would have been the case whether I had a midwife or not. I don't get ultrasounds, and early ultrasounds are not typically used by homebirth midwives anyway. I own a doppler, which I never used due to my reading that they can be damaging to the baby like ultrasounds can. (All my previous babies had their heartbeat checked by doppler.) I just patiently waited until I could feel my fundus (top of my uterus) above my pubic bone. This occurs by the twelfth week, but I felt mine at ten weeks. Multiple pregnancies can cause the uterus to grow faster at first. This was very reassuring that baby was alive and growing.

Next, I waited for movement. I felt the first movement at about 14.5 weeks, and a few weeks or so later, baby movement was constant and unmistakably baby. I rarely used the fetoscope as baby movement and uterine growth assured me all was well. I have been blessed with healthy pregnancies with no prior complications, so I felt very safe not having a midwife. I was basically doing everything for myself that the midwife would do anyway, since I don't get most of the things that are routine under OB care. I trust my body to be perfectly capable of growing and birthing babies, and I loved that this baby was growing undisturbed.

I studied some midwifery books so we would know what to do what to in case of complication or emergency. I mostly studied Polly's Birth Book: Obstetrics for the Home by Polly Block, Spiritual Midwifery by Ina May Gaskin, and Emergency Childbirth by Gregory White, MD. I've read much about pregnancy, labor, and birth as a hobby for about the past ten years, but I wanted to make sure I had memorized how to deal with potential problems. I didn't expect to have any, but wanted to be prepared just in case. I don't agree with everything in their books, but overall, they have much excellent information. Block's book does have horrendous instructions to retract an intact boy's foreskin to clean, which is extremely damaging. Please see http://www.drmomma.org/2009/09/only-clean-what-is-seen-reversing.html for more. I had many supplies in my birth kit as well that I didn't expect to use, but wanted them in the minuscule chance we did encounter any problems.

Everything went well throughout, and I busily tried to get some home repair projects done before the baby came. I even did another big bathroom remodel project, but I started it six weeks before our due date, as I did not want another labor and birth with no toilet in the house! Our last baby came a week early and was born on a bucket, our temporary toilet, since I had just begun a big repair of our bathroom floor and had taken out the toilet. I wanted a working bathroom this time!

Everything was up in the air though because of our trip. We were both comfortable with birthing on the trip and planned to go whether the baby was here yet or not. Our parents however were very upset by this. They already were really worried by our plans to birth alone, and the idea of a roadside baby was just too much. They were really pressuring us to get a midwife for the birth and of course to stay home if the baby hadn't come yet. We were just playing everything by ear and didn't know how everything would play out. I definitely did not want anyone but us there for the birth, and I didn't want Matt to miss the contest either.

On a Friday night ten days before the due date, we were talking about how maybe the upcoming full moon would trigger an early labor. The moon was to be full on Monday, and on Wednesday, we were planning to leave for our trip. I fell asleep late, around 2am (after sex!), and feeling a little twinge in my back every time I had a braxton-hicks contraction, which seemed to be occurring with a regular frequency. Hmmmm... I wondered if it was the beginning of labor. I thought of going outside, but decided that if it was labor, I better try to sleep.

The next morning I woke up and had bloody show! I figured labor would happen sometime within the next few days. With my first and second babies, I had bloody show a few days prior to birth, but with the last baby, I had no bloody show at all, which I think is one reason I didn't realize I was in labor until shortly before he was born.

Matt had taken our two older boys squirrel hunting and our youngest was still asleep. I played various songs on You Tube and danced. I was very excited to think I would soon labor, birth and have our new baby here. When everyone returned, I told Matt about the bloody show. We were so glad it looked like the baby would come early and we could go on our trip without causing our parents major worry. Matt left to go cut grass (we have a lawn care business), but he called home two or three times to check on me and see if he needed to head home early.

I decided if we were going to have our baby soon then the most important thing for me to do was to clean the house. A clean house is always desirable to a woman in labor! I spent the day cleaning and had contractions all day, but not painful. It wasn't until later that day, somewhere between 4 and 5pm, that I started to think this baby might come today. The contractions had been growing steadily stronger and closer together as the day wore on.

I had managed to clean the bathroom, kitchen, and living room, and decided to get a shower. I still needed to clean my bedroom, but by this time was doing triage on what was most important. I wanted a shower more than a clean bedroom, and I knew my time on getting anything done was getting shorter. I took a shower, then ran a bath and sat in the water for some time with a glass of water to drink. Our two (almost three) year old, Christopher, was with me a lot and even brought me bananas, which I wolfed down. He also brought me my book of acupressure points for labor, which I hadn't asked for but had been wanting.

I used acupressure during my last labor and had very little pain, so of course I used acupressure this time, but contractions were still painful. I think it may have made them shorter, but who knows since I never timed anything. I used the same points on my back that I had used before, along with some others at times. I even held small combs in my hands squeezing on them to stimulate points during each contraction, while also using my thumbs and fingers at the same time to stimulate other points. Always multitasking! I don't know when I got in the tub, but I think I got out about 5:30.

I decided I wanted to try and clean my bedroom and knew I could always get back in the tub if I wanted. In between contractions, I folded the huge pile of laundry on our bed, made the bed which didn't even have sheets on it since I had washed them, cleaned up everything off the floor, swept the floor, and whatever else needed doing. I had an inflatable kiddie pool, but never could blow it up since our bedroom was too messy. By the time I got the bedroom cleaned, I was too far along to care about the pool. Oh well.

I couldn't have set it up in the living room as our nine year old son Joshua, who had been saying for months he hated homebirth, was in there on the computer oblivious to the labor going on in the house. I think his distaste for homebirth is perhaps due to anything having to do with his mother's vagina being repulsive. He is a nine year old boy after all, so I suppose his attitude is understandable. We asked him once what he would do if his hypothetical future wife was having a baby, and he said he'd go to the "Men's Club!" We don't know where he got that idea, but hopefully he'll come around! Daniel, our five year old, had already fallen asleep due to getting up so early to go hunting. Christopher was either around me or his brother.

I spent a lot of contractions bent over the bed or a five gallon bucket, reminding myself at one point to think of the contractions as waves to ride. Once, I went outside and had a contraction under the almost full moon. I've never felt compelled to bend forward during each contraction in labor before, but it's what felt best. I would often move up and down, and rotate and move my hips as well. Joshua did see me bent over once and asked me why. I said something about it felt better or I just wanted to, and he never suspected anything. Matt came home from work at 8:10pm and saw me bent over the bed. He asked me how was it going and I said, "It's a going." I was glad he was home so he could tend to Christopher, who was being very needy. He kept wanting me to carry him and I kept trying to tell him there was no way I could carry him now.

Matt told Joshua that I was in labor. I wouldn't have told him, and he wasn't happy about it. I was in either our bedroom or the bathroom. I felt tired and laid down on my bed on my side for several contractions. I remember looking at my clock, and it was 9:33. It was around this time when Matt informed me that the contractions were coming every two minutes, which really didn't matter to me. I could tell of course that they were intense and frequent. I also thought of how I'd read that some women planning homebirths wind up transferring to the hospital for pain medication. While I certainly had no desire to go anywhere, especially a hospital, these were all clues that I was in transition, but at the time, I was thinking of Matt's prediction that morning. He said he thought the baby would be born the next day, and I was hoping I didn't have hours more labor ahead.

I decided to get back off the bed to resume my bent forward position for contractions. I also decided to make low moans hoping to get my cervix to open quicker, and I visualized it opening. I've always been a quiet laborer just breathing through contractions, but I had learned that low vocals help to dilate the cervix. I learned this from my childbirth instructor friend, Sarah, who I had hired to teach my friend Marsha, when pregnant with her first, and I sat in on the fantastic class.

I thought I had to throw up and went to the bathroom, but wound up only salivating a bunch in the toilet. Matt wiped my face with a cold washcloth that felt great. I went back to our bedroom, and I did make sure I peed every time I went in the bathroom. I had read in one of my midwifery books about reminding the mom to pee, and for some reason that stuck with me, so I kept peeing!

I always throw up right before my kids are born, so I was definitely getting closer! I had more contractions in the bedroom, then had to vomit again. I went back to the toilet, and this time, I puked! I then brushed my teeth, which I also always manage to do after puking. I thought that I'd have one more contraction and then the baby would be born. I had peed again and this time left my pants off and now ripped my shirt off. Matt told me later he knew I was about to birth when I got naked! I was just hot!

I got down in the floor on my conveniently red colored, rubber backed bathmat that Matt had bought for me the previous Christmas. What a romantic guy, huh? He also gave me new matching towels and a shower curtain. Anyway..., I was on my hands and knees and had another contraction, and then, the baby was right there! Unlike my second and third births in which I felt the babies move down the birth canal for two contractions, and then they were born during the third contraction, I never felt this baby move down.

A little bit of fluid came out as my water broke, and then the head came out. I heard Matt say something, but I don't remember what, but I thought maybe I should push, so I gave a little push and the rest of the body came out with the rest of the fluid gushing out. The baby was coming out regardless of whether I pushed or not though, as I was still in the midst of the contraction when the head was born. All my babies came out in one contraction with no break after the head like happens with some women.

This birth was different from my previous two in which I had fetal ejection reflex, and the babies came down and out on their own with zero effort in any way on my part. During that one contraction in which this baby came out, apart from my one little intentional push after the head was out, the whole thing was very intense as I was very loud, grunting I think, and of course saying Jesus over and over like I always do when babies are exiting my body! It felt different than the others, and as I think about it now, I wonder if it was the extra pressure from still having most of the fluid inside. My water had always broke before they entered the birth canal. It all happens so quick and is all so intense, that it can be hard to correctly remember all the details and feelings. But it seemed as if my body was working hard to get the baby out during that contraction.

The baby came out crying and it took me a little bit to get my leg over the cord so I could sit down. When I did, Matt handed me our new son! Yes, another boy! We like boys and weren't at all hung up on having a girl, so we were happy with another son. I asked Matt a couple of times to check the time, and he was born at 10:07pm. Our previous son was born so fast when we weren't expecting it that we don't know the exact time of his birth, but had to make a general guess for his birth certificate.

I noticed right away that he had hypospadias, in which part of the foreskin is missing. I couldn't remember the name at the time, but had read about it and how it's ironic that some parents circumcise sons, causing the penis to resemble what is an actual birth defect.

I sat on the mat holding him for maybe a half hour while Matt made phone calls to our parents. My mom wanted to come over, but I told Matt to tell her to wait until the morning as I hadn't even birthed the placenta yet and was sitting naked covered in blood, fluid, and poop and pee from the baby, who went while sitting in my lap. I was quite a mess!

Although I didn't plan to birth on the bathmat, but just so happened to want to get down in the floor, and happened to be in the bathroom where a mat was, I must mention how easy clean up was. Everything was totally contained on the mat! I just threw it all in the washing machine. Easiest birth clean up ever! So, not only did my most amazing husband give me the sperm to make the baby on Christmas, he also gave me the mat to birth him on!

We kept asking Joshua if he wanted to see the baby. It took him a while to come in, but once he did, he's been in love with him since. Daniel missed all the excitement, and his eyes about popped out when he woke up to a new brother! Christopher had watched the birth and told us right after that I pooped out a baby! All the boys love him dearly.

When I raised up a little after having been sitting on the mat, the placenta came out, my smallest one ever. I never examined my first placenta, but my other two were much bigger than this one. I don't know why, but it served the purpose. I had been considering a lotus birth, and also planned to encapsulate the placenta into pills to eat, which is supposed to be great for many things. I had a cooler to keep the placenta in to do both if I chose.

I got in the shower for a quick wash, then put the still attached to baby placenta in a ziploc bag, and had Joshua hold the bag so I could rinse the baby's poo covered butt off under the faucet. I put the baby back down on a clean towel, and set about to do his blood typing. I'm Rh negative, and Matt is positive. All our boys are positive, so I've always had Rhogam. I only needed four drops of blood, but couldn't get it from the white, nearly bloodless cord, so I got some from the fetal side of the placenta, and this baby was also positive.

A couple of hours after the birth, I went ahead and decided to cut the cord and weigh him. Matt wasn't too keen on waiting until the cord fell off on it's own and having to carry around the placenta. While he would have gone along with a lotus birth, there was nothing left in the cord, so I figured it was ok to cut. Matt cut it as he had all the other boys' cords, and we tied it with hemp twine. I had bought a cord band for that purpose, but didn't know how it worked and messed it up trying, but hemp twine worked fine. A small amount of blood did come out when he cut it, which is why we tied it tightly with the twine. Just like the others, it fell off on the fourth day.

I used a fish scale I had bought just for weighing the baby, and he was 7 pounds, 3 ounces, after subtracting the weight of the blanket we hung him from the fish scale in. He was 20 1/2 inches long, making him our smallest baby both in height and weight.

He latched on great, and nurses like a pro. I'm so very thankful I've never had breastfeeding problems. I spent much of that first night awake, just watching him as he lay sleeping beside me.

I felt fantastic as soon as he popped out, and had no tearing at all and not even any discomfort. A couple of days later, I had Angy, my midwife for my other homebirths, come over to give me Rhogam, and do the state required newborn bloodwork, and check the baby out. I was really only concerned about the hypospadias. His is minor, and an online friend directed me to a very reassuring article at http://www.drmomma.org/2010/04/hypospadias-surgery-and-circumcision.html. He is still fully functional, but just looks a little different.

He was nine days early, and we were glad, as now we could take our annual vacation in peace. Everyone was very relieved when he arrived early, and we took off on our trip as planned when he was four days old. Due to massive rainstorms and having a newborn, we did get a hotel instead of camp.

Matt wanted to name him Noel, which means Christmas child. I liked the meaning, but not the name, so finally after much debate and discussion, when he was four weeks old, we put a name on the birth certificate, Isaac Noel. Matt and I and the boys are always cuddling and snuggling and kissing him. He is so precious, and we all love him so much.

I am so very thankful for my beloved husband. He is truly my soulmate, best friend, life partner, and lover. He always knew just what to do during my labors and births. I feel very blessed and grateful to have been able to birth our last three children into his hands.

Abortion: Mercy or Murder?

I wanted to share my response on a Facebook thread about abortion. First,

Birth Without Fear

posted this quote here: https://www.facebook.com/birthwithoutfear/posts/211181862259709

• ‎ "I've noticed that everybody that is for abortion has already been born." ~Ronald Reagan

I replied, "Love it!!! Thanks for posting BWF!!! I can't read all these comments, but I am very pro-life and believe all babies deserve the same legal protections as everyone else. Whether born yet or not, the baby is human like us. I'm not sure how some feel it is part of the mom's body when it is so obviously a separate person. I also don't understand how some people are advocates for babies rights and gentle care and compassion once born, but think it acceptable to kill them before they are born. If you don't care about if they are killed prior to birth, why care about what happens to them after birth? It's the same baby."


A lady replied, "Christy, unfortunately, it seems like a lot of pro-life people care more about the baby in utero than they do about the child and adult that follow. Nobody seems to have a really good solution for what to DO with all the babies they don't want aborted. Should parents just keep their kids when they can't care for them and/or don't want them? What about the ones whose mothers do hardcore drugs while they are pregnant, and are going to be born with SEVERE deficits? And adoption isn't always the fairy tale that we like to think it is...I can vouch for that.

But it doesn't seem to matter. As long as they are alive, they should be happy. Who cares who crappy their lives are?"


This is my response I want to share.


"Tanya, I just checked back to this thread and wanted to answer your questions. I also care deeply for children and adults as well. Killing someone should not be an option for how to deal with an unwanted person. If that is an appropriate solution, than what should stop us from killing other supposedly unwanted people. There are places in the world where street children are hunted down and killed because they are unwanted and viewed as a dirty nuisance. Do you consider this acceptable? If not, than why the distinction between the two groups of children? Simply because one group is still in the womb does not make it morally or ethically ok to kill them. They are still people. As for children born with severe defects, it is not our right to act as judge of who is worthy of life. The Nazis thought they had the right to decide who had the right to live and who should die. Believing that "defective" individuals should not be allowed to live is exactly what the Nazis practiced. I do not at all think parents should be forced to keep children they do not want, but murdering their unborn children is no different from murdering their born children. Both involve the premeditated taking of another person's life. The age of the victim does not turn a crime into an act of mercy. It seems from the comments here that some consider abortion to be an act of mercy. I can certainly understand thinking a person would be better off dead than to live a life of abuse and suffering. However, by actually believing it acceptable to kill people in order to protect them, we then open the door to it being acceptable to kill anyone we deem to be suffering. This results in the same outcome as the Nazis, who kill those "unworthy" to live. If it's ok to kill unborn babies who may possibly suffer from being unwanted or having birth defects, than is it not also acceptable to kill already born people who suffer? Should we kill abused children to save them from further suffering? Should we kill those with mental and/or physical handicaps? How about the terminally ill or those living with excruciating chronic pain? Should we not do all these people a favor and put them out of their misery? What if they don't want to die? Our survival instinct is the strongest instinct. Often, people who attempt suicide due to their misery change their mind and fight to live. Unborn babies try to get away from the abortion instruments. So, what should we DO with all the unwanted babies, you ask. Of course, I would love to see them adopted into loving families. There are many families desiring to adopt, even to adopt "defective" children. Our adoption rate is very low and our abortion rate is very high. Abortion is a massive industry that makes vast sums of money for those involved. Extremely vulnerable women are preyed upon by this industry. These women must daily live with their choice to abort. I do not at all condemn them. I blame the industry and the government which blesses, protects, and helps finance it. I do not think abortion will go away and everyone will live happily ever after. I do hope I have been able to present reasons showing why legalized abortion is wrong. When it's ok to kill one group of people for whatever reason you may have, than it is ok to kill others. I contend that we do not have the inherent right to kill another, even if it is our own child, and that it is wrong for our government to have laws in place legalizing one person to kill another."

The Puppet Master?

Glenn Beck exposes the most powerful man in the world, George Soros, as the man pulling the strings of governments and companies worldwide. Soros has a past history of collapsing currencies to profit himself, and unfortunately for Americans, he now has his sights on us.

Breastmilk: It's good for what ails you!

Here are two articles I found over at one of my favorite blogs, Peaceful Parenting, listing many things breastmilk can help. It is a tremendous natural healer, along with being the best possible food to feed babies.

http://www.drmomma.org/2009/09/medicinal-uses-of-breastmilk.html

The Medicinal Uses of Breastmilk

List compiled by Celin ChildsPhotos © 2009 Danelle Frisbie

Breastmilk is not only the best way to feed your newborn or infant, this nourishing substance has the ability to heal and protect the body as well. I am not just talking about your infant's body; I am talking about yours, as well as your older children. In this article I am going to discuss some of the basic ways you can use breastmilk to cure common ailments.

Human milk contains a balance of nutrients that perfectly matches infant requirements for brain development, growth and a healthy immune system. Human milk also contains immunologic agents and other compounds that act against viruses, bacteria, and parasites.

Since an infant's immune system is not fully developed until age 2, human milk provides a distinct advantage over formula. Children who are breastfed enjoy lower rates of several chronic childhood diseases, including respiratory infections and ear infections as well as diarrhea.

Breastfed infants develop body compositions that are quite different from formula-fed infants, resulting in fewer overweight and obese children.

Breastfeeding releases a hormone in a woman's body that causes her uterus to return to its normal size and shape more quickly and reduces blood loss after delivery. In addition, breastfeeding for longer periods of time reduces the risks of breast cancer and ovarian cancer.

Pink Eye: Breastmilk has the ability to treat and cure eye infections such as Pink Eye. All you need to do is to squirt the milk into the infected eyes. You should do this frequently as possible until the eye is completely healed. If you were treating your infant's eyes for Pink Eye, the best result would be to wait until the baby is asleep. Some babies can be treated while awake, however, it may be difficult. You should squirt the milk around the crease of the closed eye and then gently lift the eyelids and allow all of the breastmilk to seep into the closed eye.

Sore Cracked Nipples: Many new mommies experience the pain and discomfort of sore cracked nipples from breastfeeding their newborn. Creams and oils can work wonders, however, the best medicine lies right inside of the breast. Breastmilk can be rubbed around the sore areas of the nipples after feeding and then left out to briefly air dry.

Mosquito and Ant Bites: Breastmilk is a sterile disinfecting concoction; so placing the substance on insect bites can actually work wonders. You should squirt a little milk on the bites and rub in thoroughly. This will help to stop the itching that may be caused by the insect bite.

Acne/Eczema/Diaper rash: Breastmilk can help to clear up these nasty skin disorders. All you need to do is to wash the infected area of the skin with clean water, and then you can apply the breastmilk all over the infected area. You should then let the milk air-dry.

Facial Cleanser: Breastmilk holds the ability to clean the skin very well. You should apply the breastmilk on the face and wipe it clean. Believe it or not, breastmilk can remove eye makeup.

Sore Throat and Mouth Sores: You should breastfeed your baby if their throat becomes sore. If you get a canker sore you can swish a little breastmilk around in your mouth for several seconds. This will help to heal the infection.

Stuffy Nose: If your infant has a stuffy nose, all you have to do is squirt a few droplets of milk into the nose and then suction or squeeze out; follow the same procedures as you would for saline.

Immunity Boost: If your older children are getting sick or they just need a little pick me up, you can give them breastmilk in order to boost their immune system.

Plugged Eye Ducts: If your infant's eyes are plugged you can squirt breastmilk into the eye crease at the nose. You should do this four times the first day and only two the day after.

Scratches, Burns, Gouges, and Scrapes: These can all be treated with breastmilk. You just have to squirt and rub breastmilk on the infected area. Then you let the area air-dry and then bandage as normal.

Sexual Lubricant: Males can squirt the breastmilk directly onto the penis in order to use as a lubricant during sexual intercourse. Females can hand express the milk into a sterile cup in order to do this. Breastmilk can be used the same as a couple would use Vaseline, KY Jelly, or Astroglide.

Contact Lenses: For people who wear contacts, running out of solution during dyer moments can be one of the most frustrating and eye painful situations. Remember, breastmilk is a sterile substance, so you can use the milk the same as you would solution for your dry contacts or to clean them.

Eye Puffiness and Redness: You can squirt breastmilk into the eye to cure puffiness and redness.

Breast Cancer: Breastfeeding your infant is one of the best ways to prevent breast cancer from developing in you. Breastfeeding provides a means of protection for you from getting the disease.

Chicken Pox: You can use breastmilk to help ease the pain of itching by using the same as you would Calamine Lotion or any other ointment.

Leg Ulcers: You can squirt breastmilk on leg ulcers in order to clear them up.

Chapped lips/skin: All you have to do is express a small amount of breastmilk onto the fingers and wipe over the lips/skin. Do not rub the milk in; you should leave the area a little wet.

Donating breastmilk can be a wonderful charitable deed. Here is a list of clinical, medicinal, therapeutic, post surgical uses for donor breast milk.

Clinical Uses of Donor Breast Milk:· Prematurely· Malabsorbtion syndromes· Renal failure· Inborn errors of metabolism· Cardiac problems· Pediatric burn cases· Failure to thrive· Short-gut syndrome· Feeding intolerance· Post Surgical· Bronchi pulmonary dysplasia

Medicinal/Therapeutic uses of Donor Breast Milk:· Treatment for infectious diseases· Intractable diarrhea· Gastrontentis· Infantile botulism· Sepsis· Pneumonia· Hemorrhagic Conjunctivitis

Post Surgical Healing:· Omphaloele· Gastroschisis· Intestinal Obstruction/bowel fistula· Colostomy ReparDonor Breast milk can also help with immunodeficiency diseases, severe allergies, IGA deficiencies, and solid organ transplant.

http://www.drmomma.org/2009/11/more-ways-to-use-breastmilk.html

More Ways to Use Breastmilk
By Liz Laing

Acne Treatment and Facial Cleanser: Wash face with a mild soap, rinse, and gently pat a breastmilk-saturated ball of cotton (not a synthetic material) over the entire face. This process is great for removing eye makeup as well.

Burns and Sunburn: Apply breastmilk gingerly to burns and they will dry up and look much better the next day. A burn treated with breastmilk and mashed-up blueberries will dry up within an hour, wrote one mom on a Midwifery Today online forum.1 Elena Michaels, PhD, CCH, LMFT, a traditional naturopath in Santa Clarita, California, told me that she often applied her breastmilk to her kids' sunburns. The soothing milk would stop the pain immediately," she said. "I believe the lauric acid found in breastmilk is antiviral, antibacterial, healing to tissue, and contains analgesic properties. Besides human breastmilk, virgin coconut oil is nature's most abundant source of lauric acid.

Chapped Lips: Dab a bit of milk onto dry lips, leaving them wet. Apply often, and lips should take only a day or two to heal.

Cold Sores and Fever Blisters: Place milk directly on a cold sore with a clean finger or cotton ball. This should speed the healing process and also help relieve some of the pain.

Cuts, Scrapes, Scratches: Clean wound first using breastmilk if you don't have soap and water. Drip milk onto the wound, then let it air-dry. You can also use a cotton ball or a 4-by-4-inch gauze pad soaked in breastmilk. If the cut is on a baby's lips or mouth area, allow him or her to nurse. An upset child will be calmed by the gentle, loving act of breastfeeding, and the milk will help heal the wound. I'll never forget when my 15-month-old daughter was bitten by her grandma's dog right on her face." says Nancy Levesque, a former La Leche League leader. "I immediately put her to my breast and nursed her as we were deciding what hospital to take her to. I'm so glad that I was able to comfort her during this traumatic time, and I believe the act of nursing did help to begin to heal her wound.

Diaper Rash: Gently pat baby's bottom with breastmilk, being especially generous when applying it to reddened or rash areas. Leave baby's diaper off for a few minutes and let the bottom air-dry.

Ear Infections: Place a few drops of breastmilk in the ear; follow with warm (not hot) olive oil and garlic, or bottled garlic mullein oil (sold at natural food stores).

Red or Puffy Eyes: Place two cotton balls saturated with breastmilk over closed eyes for a few minutes - works better than tea bags or cucumber slices!

Insect Bites: With a clean finger, dab breastmilk on the bite; this will help stop the itching.

Skin Rash/Wounds: Apply breastmilk on itchy spots - even chickenpox - for soothing relief. One woman claims that she used her breastmilk to clear up an elderly relative's leg ulcers. It's also possible that breastmilk helps heal skin wounds in nursing women themselves.

Sore or Cracked Nipples: Gently rub milk onto nipples or area of soreness and let air-dry. Another option is to bathe the sore nipple by dipping it into a clean, shallow dish of breastmilk.

Sore Throats: Baby can benefit by directly nursing.

Warts: Leave a breastmilk-saturated cotton ball on the wart for a few minutes twice a day. Continue for several days until the wart dries up.

For even more info, including articles on breastmilk's cancer killing attributes, visit http://www.kellymom.com/health/illness/healing-breastmilk.html.

Disease Killing Properties Of Breast Milk

I found this great article detailing some of the many wonders of breastmilk.  Receiving this amazing living nourishment from mother's breast is what every baby needs.  Breastfeeding properly satisfies baby's physical, emotional, and mental needs, and is highly beneficial in many ways for Mom, too!

http://www.vaccineriskawareness.com/Disease-Killing-Properties-Of-Breast-Milk

Disease Killing Properties Of Breast Milk 

One of the most important things you can do for your baby is breast feed him. Breast milk is important because: 

1. It is species appropriate milk. Human milk is meant for human babies.

2. It contains exactly the right levels of nutrients that he needs, unlike formula which is cow's milk and tailored to a calf.

3. It contains long chain fatty acids essential for human brain growth, not included in most formulas.

4. It contains antibodies to disease and white blood cells for the immune system, not present in formula.

5. It fulfils a baby's biological need to breast feed from it's mother and helps to safeguard the baby's emotional health throughout life.

6. Breast feeding mums don't get as much breast cancer as mums who have never breast fed.

Breast Milk Kills Cancer! 

One of the reasons we now have 1 in 3 people affected by cancer is that we are seeing a whole generation of people who were brought up on formula milk. 

A few years ago immunology student, Anders Hakansson1, of Lund University, Sweden, was experimenting by mixing human milk, cancer cells and bacteria. To his surprise the cancer cells were "acting up". Their volume was decreasing and their nuclei shrinking. Hakansson's supervisor, Catharina Svanborg, quickly recognized that the cancer cells were committing suicide. The phenomenon of apoptosis, whereby the body rids itself of old and unnecessary cells was well known, however for this to occur with cancer cells was unknown as their usual pattern is to reproduce in an uncontrolled fashion. Something in the breastmilk caused the cancer cells to self-destruct. Svanborg and her team had already done extensive investigation in the ability of breastmilk to protect the gut lining from invasive bacteria such as pneumococcus that causes the increased rates of upper respiratory tract infections and otitis media in children not breastfed. And so they began to track down the cancer-killing component in breastmilk. Then in 1995 they reported2 that the protein alpha-lactalbumin, or alpha-lac for short, was capable of targeting not only cancer cells but also other immature and rapidly growing cells, leaving stable, mature cells for growth and development. Alpha-lac's amazing capabilities may explain in part why formula fed infants suffer from increased rates of infectious diseases as well as childhood cancers.

References:
1. Discover Magazine, June 30, 1999

2. Hakahsson, A. et al. Apoptosis induced by a human milk protein. Proc Natl Acad Sci. 92:8064-8068, 1995

Breast Milk Kills Polio Says Inventor Of Polio Vaccine!

Did you know that Albert Sabin, inventor of the oral polio vaccine, did the first study on the anti-polio properties of breast milk? He infected mice with polio and then took breast milk from 71 American women and fed it to the mice. The breast milk had an 84% success rate at neutralising polio. (Albert Sabin and Howard Fieldsteel, 'Anti-poliomyelitic Activity of Human and Bovine Colostrum and Milk', Journal of Pediatrics, 29 (1962).

Breast Milk Protects Against HIB and Meningitis

According to the journal of epidemiology, breast milk protects against HIB for up to 10 years after you have stopped breast feeding.

'For each week of breast feeding, the protection improved.' (Journal of Epidemiology, 1997, 26: 443-450).

Breast Milk Protects Against Whooping Cough, Strep B, HIB and Meningitis!

Tropical Pediatrics also found significant amounts of antibodies in breast milk to whooping cough, HIB, strep B infection and meningitis.

'Samples may indicate a protective role for breast milk against the four infections of early childhood.' Tropical Pediatrics, 1989, 4: 226-232. 

Breast Milk Can Protect Against Complications From Measles 

Fatality from measles in third world children was REDUCED BY ONE THIRD in breast fed children, according to: 

17. Lepage P. Munyakazi C, Hennart P. Breast feeding and hospital mortality in children from Rwanda. Lancet 1981;i:40911.

Breast Milk Protects Against Rotavirus/Diarrheoa

In a study in Brazil, dehydrating diarrhoea (defined by the presence of a persistent skinfold plus at least two other signs of dehydration) was 6.0 times more frequent among non-breastfed infants than among exclusively breastfed infants. If a child already had diarrhoea, the risk of developing dehydration was 3.3 times greater for the nonbreastfed infant.

Fuchs SC. Risk factors for dehydrating diarrhea: a case-control study. Ph.D. thesis, Universidade Federal do Rio Grande do Sul, Porto Alegre, Brazil, 1993.

Victora CG, Fuchs SC, Kirkwood BR, Lombardi C, Barros FC. Breastfeeding, nutritional status and other prognostic factors for dehydration among young children with diarrhoea: a casecontrol study. Bull WHO 1992;70:467-75.

Breast Milk Protects Against Cholera 

Epidemiologic studies show that breastfeeding protects against shigellosis and cholera. Breastmilk also contains antibodies against a large number of other gastrointestinal pathogens. It also protects against neonatal necrotizing enterocolitis.

Hanson LA, Ashraf R. Carlsson B. Mattsby-Baltzer I, Motas C, Hahn-Zoric M, Mata L, Herias V, Cruz JR, Lindblad BS, Karlberg J, Jalil F. The Second John Soothill Lecture: breastfeeding, infections and immunology. In: Chandra RK, ed. Nutrition and immunology. St. John's, Canada: ARTS Biomedical Publishers and Distributors, 1992:45-60.

Lucal A, Cole TJ. Breast milk and neonatal necrotizing enterocolitis. Lancet 1990;336:1519-23

Breast Milk Can Protect Against Pneumonia 

In Rwanda non-breastfed children were twice as likely as breastfed children to die of pneumonia. 

Lepage P. Munyakazi C, Hennart P. Breast feeding and hospital mortality in children from Rwanda. Lancet 1981;i:40911.


Breast Milk Reduces Cot Death By 50%!

The German Study of Sudden Infant Death is a case-control study of 333 infants who died of sudden infant death syndrome and 998 age-matched controls.

RESULTS. A total of 49.6% of cases and 82.9% of controls were breastfed at 2 weeks of age. Exclusive breastfeeding at 1 month of age halved the risk, partial breastfeeding at the age of 1 month also reduced the risk of sudden infant death syndrome, but after adjustment this risk was not significant. Being exclusively breastfed in the last month of life/before the interview reduced the risk, as did being partially breastfed. Breastfeeding survival curves showed that both partial breastfeeding and exclusive breastfeeding were associated with a reduced risk of sudden infant death syndrome.

CONCLUSIONS. This study shows that breastfeeding reduced the risk of sudden infant death syndrome by ~50% at all ages throughout infancy.

Source: PEDIATRICS Vol. 123 No. 3 March 2009, pp. e406-e410.

Financial illiteracy in America

Here's a short reply I gave to a post about credit cards and debt on a 9-12 board I'm on:

One more enormous failure of the public school system (and parents who are expecting the schools to teach) is the incredible lack of practical skills, especially financial management skills. Kids go off to college where credit card companies happily give them credit cards, and the government happily gives them student loans. When they leave school, they are usually saddled with a very depressing amount of debt. It's a sad way to start adulthood, and leaves these people with no choice but to very often live paycheck to paycheck. Most have acquired a car payment by now as well. The pattern continues with an unaffordable house payment. Banks tend to give far more credit than what can be handled, and of course people tend to spend the maximum approved loan amount for everything. Credit continues to be used to finance a lifestyle that took someone's parents a lifetime to achieve. So many look well to do, yet struggle to put food on the table. They just don't truly own much, though they are paying on much.

We are so far removed from the traditional American ethic of working hard, and saving for purchases. This collective mentality has destroyed our nation. Not only is our government now living under unsustainable debt, so are most of our citizens. This leaves the people unable to care for themselves.

Until people choose to live within their means, stay out of debt, and save money, they will remain enslaved to government, banks, jobs, etc.

My reply to an OB's article on "unnecesareans"

Here is a reply I left to an article by an OB regarding unnecessary c-sections.
Article here:
http://academicobgyn.com/2010/07/27/the-myth-of-the-unnecessary-cesarean/

Dr. Fogelson,
I don't have time to read all the replies, but since you seem to be reading the comments, I will leave one for you. I am very happy to see you mention:

"I completely agree about looking at the factors that promote normal birth:
here’s a few:
1) avoiding unindicated inductions
2) control of gestational diabetes
3) delaying hospital admission until the onset of active labor"

In my area in WV, virtually all OB attended hospital birthing women are induced, and are thus in the hospital the entire labor. We also have the 5th highest rate of c-sections in the nation, and are running about a 50% chance of induced women getting c-sections. The only women I know who escape this are the homebirth moms I know, and the VERY rare lady who refuses induction despite enormous pressure from her doctors. These are done for the convenience and scheduling of the doctors, and always occur PRIOR to the due date!

I can not figure out why women in my area do not question the insanely high c-section rate. They happily go in for their scheduled inductions implicitly trusting that the doctor has their best interests at heart. How have humans managed to survive if so many women are incapable of birth?

I am a natural birth advocate, having had one birth center birth, and two homebirths (one unassisted.) I realize emergency care is sometimes needed, and I am very thankful we have such care available. However, treating all births like emergencies, intervening from beginning to end, causes the very problems women think they are being protected from.

If women are left alone to labor and birth as they choose, almost all will birth fine, and free from any complications. The best thing we could do to greatly minimize c-sections and other things like forceps or vacuum delivery and episiotomies, etc., for women who choose hospitals to birth, is to leave them alone! Give them peace, quiet, and privacy, and minimize interruptions. Let them labor as they choose, freely walking or moving as desired. Let them birth in whatever position desired. I've never known any women who actually chose to birth flat on their back, which hinders birthing efforts, as it narrows the pelvis and compresses blood and oxygen to the baby, often resulting in fetal distress. Keep the dreaded continuous electronic fetal machine away, shown to actually CAUSE unneeded c-sections. A doppler every 30 minutes or so should give plenty of reassurance that baby is well. Also, get rid of the timeline which says if a woman doesn't produce a baby in a certain amount of time, she has "failure to progress" and winds up with a c-section or a forced vaginal birth (forceps, etc.) Do not use pitocin to either induce or hasten labor.

The typical hospital scene however, treats women as cattle, herding them in and out as quickly as possible. Induction, pitocin, labor in bed, "failure to progress," c-section. I hear this story of induction to c-section all the time from women I know.

What's needed is a midwifery model of care for most women. Let labor begin and proceed on it's own. Let the woman do what her body innately knows it needs to do. Tragically, this scenario is the opposite of what most women encounter. Therefore, you will continue to have women who feel violated and cheated, and yes even medically raped.

Birth is a very special, sacred experience in a woman's life, which is not at all respected in our current obstetric model of childbirth care. Not only are most women cheated out of a positive birth experience, the aftercare of the newborn is deplorable. Separating the mother and baby after birth tremendously interferes with the natural bonding hormones and breastfeeding. So many women report feelings of detachment towards their infants, which they very often attribute to a labor and birth in which they were at the mercy of doctors and staff, who completely took over their labors and performed unneeded c-sections. Many of these women have found later healing in homebirth, which is infinitely more peaceful than a hospital birth.

I hope you will continue to advocate lowering c-section rates among your colleagues, and also seek to advocate for a far less interfering approach to childbirth, which will result in far fewer c-sections. Thank you.

Our Second Birth (at home!)

When Joshua was three years and eight months old, I was due to give birth again. One of the midwives on staff at the birth center where he was born, Angy, had started her own practice doing homebirths! I was so excited. I looked forward to puking in my own toilet. Vomiting on oneself while having hard labor in a speeding car is no fun at all! I love her attitude as she is all about natural birth and non-intervention.

She gave me lots of choices that I was not given with the birth center, such as not making me have the IV antibiotics during labor. For every decision, she gave me the risks, pros and cons, and let me decide. I really appreciated that, and her trust in a woman's body to give birth by itself. I declined most of the routine tests, including ultrasound, so we didn't know if we were getting another boy or a girl.

Two days after my "due date," I woke up at 4 AM after only 4 hours sleep, and proceeded to pace my house for about the next 10 hours while listening to a Christian worship CD nonstop. Being January and very cold, I didn't have many options for places to walk, so I just did laps around my kitchen table and back and forth through the living room. I occasionally tried to sit down, but was very quickly pacing again. I suppose this was the early stage of labor that I didn't really experience the first time when I essentially went straight to hard labor. I wasn't in much pain at all, but just couldn't stop moving.

I then spent the next several hours in my bathtub. The tub is a regular size, (no deep jacuzzi this time), so I had to mostly lie down or lean forward while sitting to keep the water on my belly. I kept adding hot water every so often, while draining off some cold.

Joshua stayed with me practically the whole time I was in the tub. He started out on the other side, then sitting on the edge, then stuck his feet in, and eventually wound up in the tub. It was really sweet and funny. I said, "I can't even labor by myself." He would rub my back and say comforting things. I didn't mind him being there at all. I just breathed through my contractions since I didn't want to be loud and scare him.

Angy came over after I was in the tub, and I asked her to check my cervix, which she only does upon request, not routinely. She says dilation is not a good indication of when the baby will be born, so there is really no reason to check. Plus, it can introduce germs. A woman can very quickly fully dilate from 0 to 10 cm., or walk around for weeks very dilated like I did with my first baby.

I should have left well enough alone, because after an already lengthy labor, I was discouraged to hear I was only 2 cm. I had her check me once or twice more during my very long soak, and don't really remember what I was, but it wasn't enough to make me get excited. She even wanted to feel my belly once during a contraction to make sure they were the strong, productive ones since I was being the silent type. I just breathed through each contraction, concentrating on them one at a time, and reminding myself I was that much closer. As during my first labor, I allowed myself to squeeze my hands together, but made the rest of my body stay relaxed, as I didn't want to fight my body's efforts by tensing up. Angy reminded me to keep my face relaxed along with my body and not to grimace. I asked her at one point how much longer did she think it would be, and I think she said an hour. I can't quite remember when I asked her, though, so I'm not sure of her accuracy!

Everyone always said that second babies come faster, so I was discouraged with how long this was taking, and after my lack of sleep, many miles walked, and then the harder stage of labor, I was so tired, and just wanted to go to sleep, which of course is not possible when you are getting ready to have a baby.

My husband, Matt, would pop in and out of the bathroom checking on me, as would Angy. It was mostly just me and my little boy. Right when it got tough, Matt came in and stayed. He seemed to know when I needed him, and when I was ok alone. I basically wanted to be alone. We had called our families around 4 PM, but I had them all stay out of the bathroom. I told our family that I wanted to labor alone, but they could come in for the birth. Labor is an unbelievably intense time, and I didn't want to be distracted. I needed my full concentration for each contraction. I kept the lights off and burned candles and continued to listen to the same worship CD, (Russ Jones: The Worship Project), which was a huge help. It kept my mind focused on God.

I remember an intense mixture of emotions of pain, and love for my family, and God's presence just before transition. I cried from these overwhelming feelings of love. One song (Revelation Song) I repeatedly listened to that has been so special to me ever since. The chorus says, "Holy! Holy! Holy! is the Lord God Almighty, who was, and is, and is to come. With all creation I sing praise to the King of kings, You are my everything, and I will adore You."

Angy had come in to stay about then, and I needed to get out of the tub to throw up. Angy said that getting out of the tub would help move things along, too. It really did, as now the contractions came one on top of the other. I was on the floor, the toilet, leaning on Matt, all over the place. Transition was a blur, it was so intense and painful, though quick. I finally wound up on the toilet again, and my mom came in. She couldn't take being outside anymore, and held one hand, and Matt held the other. I had maybe a couple more contractions like this.

I felt the baby coming, and then squatted in the floor in front of the toilet, and said Matt's mom and sister better get in here, as I knew they were hoping to watch the birth. So, crowded into our tiny bathroom was me, Matt, his sister, our moms, Angy, and her assistant Jennifer, who is also a midwife.

Birth was quick and seemingly effortless. I say that because I didn't have to push hard like I did before. In fact, I didn't push at all. After all that long labor, it only took three contractions as my body pushed our baby out. He was ready to be born, and I squatted in the floor, and out he came.

I did get noisy during birth and I think it scared Joshua, so my father in law took him outside. He had left the bathroom before transition, and I'm glad since I was obviously in pain. I was crying out to Jesus when the baby came out!

I caught our baby's head and Matt caught his body. He turned him over and announced, "It's a boy!" It was very special with Matt and I catching our son. I had a very tiny tear, but we were in great shape. I liked it a lot better being in my own house doing whatever I wanted. Even though I had a midwife there, she watched the birth unobtrusively.

We didn't cut the cord until after it stopped pulsating, and I donated the cord blood. I wanted to do these with my first birth, but didn't get to. I sat on the toilet holding our new son until after we cut the cord and I birthed the placenta, then I got in the shower and felt great.

Everyone was surprised that he weighed 8 pounds and 6 ounces, and that he had a head full of very dark hair. He was 21 inches long, born on 1-16 at 6:48 PM. He was very content while we all loved on him, and welcomed him.

He was a little slow to get the hang of nursing, but caught on sometime that first week, and just like Joshua, nursed strong for almost two years. I've thought that lots of women would have thought something was wrong and just used formula instead. Especially since hospitals often push formula instead of encouraging breastfeeding.

We debated for a week on his name, and finally decided on Matt's original first choice, Daniel Isaiah.

I have a stepson, too, Gabriel, so Matt has had one in a hospital, one in a birth center, and one at home. Home is his favorite and mine. He was serving up pie and coffee during my labor! I cannot fathom trying to labor and birth in a hospital. I pray I never have anything to cause me to have that experience.

For something so incredibly private and intense, home is definitely the place to be.

Our firstborn's birth story!

I had said for years that I was never going to get married or have kids. I always loved children, but didn't want to bring kids into an evil world, and felt I'd rather take in kids already here who needed a loving home. I still want to do this, and have since told God that I want what He wants for me, and will gladly take the children He gives, whether biological or adopted.

God opened my heart to marriage, which is another story I definitely need to share! My husband, Matt, had one son already and wanted more children, but he married me anyway, knowing I was adamantly against having biological children. For the first two years of marriage, he often talked about wanting a baby. That second year, I secretly considered bringing forth a child, while God worked on my heart. I finally decided to give him his heart's desire, and secretly quit taking birth control pills. I never took them again as I later discovered they can cause abortions by not allowing a fertilized egg to implant.

I quickly became pregnant only a couple of months later, but didn't tell anyone, not even Matt, until I was about four months along. It had been such a big deal for me to decide to have a child that I wanted time to myself to process and get more used to my new life, about to be forever radically altered.

I told my husband on the anniversary of our first kiss, my mom on her 50th birthday, and my in law family at Thanksgiving. My mother and sister in law still say they didn't taste their meal that day, as they were so shocked! Matt announced our news at church when people were telling what they were thankful for. Everyone was so thrilled and excited!

I was blessed with an easy pregnancy, and continued to daily cut grass in our lawn care business and give massages. I used the midwives from our local birth center for my prenatal care. I wanted to have a homebirth, but did not know any midwives who would come to my house.

Overall, I was very pleased with the birth center and all their midwives. They were always so warm, friendly, and caring. One thing I didn't like was the one time I saw their on staff OB a few days before labor, only because all the midwives and nurses were gone that day. He painfully jabbed my belly one time, and sat down across the room. Thank God he didn't do an internal exam! This was not the gentle palpating I was used to from the midwives.

I had been quite dilated for weeks before labor, (at my first 37 week internal check, I was already 3 cm. dilated). A midwife had offered to break my water when I was a few days "overdue," but I believe in letting nature take its course. I also wanted to cut grass that day!

Despite my working hard as usual, he was still busy "cooking" in there! I had an internal exam when I was a week over my due date, and I think the nurse stripped my membranes, but she did not say so. I just know that she was feeling around for a while, and it was uncomfortable. She did say I was about 4.5 to 5 cm. dilated. Now, I was still not in labor and had no signs of labor, although I did have a few days of "bloody show" by this time, so I knew labor would soon commence.

I was actually getting ready to go to Lowe's for supplies for one of our many home renovations, when the first real contraction hit about 8:15 PM that evening, and dropped me to my knees. Within an hour, they were coming fast and hard. Around 9:30, we left for the birth center, about 20 minutes away. I threw up many times, including all over myself while hanging my head out the car window. When I got back in the car, I told Matt, "This sucks!" Puking out the car window at high speed, and the wind just blowing it all over me, while in hard labor was no fun! I got to the center before the midwife, and vomited off their porch. As soon as they arrived around 10 PM, and I could get inside, I ripped off my vomit clothes, and got in their very large bath tub.

We had a midwife, nurse, doula, our parents, and Matt's sister all there, but our dads stayed in another room. I had read it was very important to keep relaxed, so I passed contractions by looking in the doula's eyes, and keeping all my muscles relaxed, except for squeezing Matt's hand. I had to poop and got on the toilet, a position I liked. My water broke, and the midwife suggested I try the bed. They had me on my back with legs up, which I hated, but was too tired to tell anyone. In between contractions, all I could do was rest, not talk.

Finally, I managed to tell them, and they helped me up to my knees, but I don't remember being on my knees for very long at all. It seemed like all my pushing efforts were done in that horrendous lying on back position. They told me I pushed for an hour. I don't even remember this, but they told me I had Matt in a headlock at some point! I only remember having three contractions on my back before being able to tell them I wanted to be upright, and I don't remember doing any pushing while on my knees. Time can be difficult to judge when in hard labor!

They told us our baby's heart rate was getting low and they were worried, so my midwife said I needed an episiotomy to get him out fast. It seemed like it was no time at all once I got back upright that she wanted to cut me, and I was back down on my back giving one last great unsuccessful effort to birth our baby, who had been crowning for a while. His head kept coming out a little, then back in. As soon as she cut me, he shot out at 1 AM. I'm sure I could have birthed him fine if I would have had more time, but I didn't want to chance damaging my baby to avoid an episiotomy.

I will also mention that against my desire, which unfortunately I had not verbally stated or written, they immediately clamped his cord, and had my husband cut it. I was too exhausted to stop them. If I would have known the clamp can be removed prior to cutting, I may have been able to muster the energy to have stopped the cutting, and given instruction to remove the clamp. This is something I only recently discovered. I always thought that once the cord is clamped, that it's as good as cut, which isn't true. As long as the cord is still pulsating, the clamp can be removed, and baby will get his blood flow from the cord again.

Even though I had researched and knew the cord should not be cut (or clamped) until after pulsing has ceased, I suppose the midwife didn't know this. She was such a wonderful lady, and I don't think she would have intentionally done something harmful. I don't dwell on it, and he is certainly healthy, but it still disappoints me when I think about it. All babies need their oxygen rich cord blood, and since he had a dangerously low heart rate, he especially needed all the blood his body wanted to take from the cord.

So for my first baby, labor took less than 5 hours. I'm sure I went practically straight into hard labor since I was already so dilated. I could hardly move my legs afterward, which I felt was do to the position I was put in and did not like. It seemed to really fatigue my thigh muscles. In the pictures we took with our family just after his birth, my legs are still spread open under the sheet. I didn't even have the strength to move them! After our families left, I got stitched up and nursed our new baby, then was able to take a shower and felt fine by the next morning when we went home.

It never even occurred to me to want pain relief. I just felt this is what you had to go through to have a baby. I was so glad to have had a natural childbirth and knew I would choose to do so again. We were blessed with a son, who weighed in at 7lbs, 7.75 ounces, and 21 inches long, born on 5-7, the day before his daddy's birthday! Thank You Jesus!!! Seven is my favorite number, by the way.

We named him Joshua Matthew, taken from the hand carved wood plaque Matt's dad had made for us and given to us for Christmas while I was pregnant. Oak leaves, acorns, and a Bible verse are inscribed on it. "As for me and my house, we will serve the LORD." Joshua 24:15 When we opened our gift, Matt saw the name Joshua and knew that was to be our son's name.

Our Third Birth (at home unassisted!)

Our third birth was by far my easiest and fastest labor, and my favorite birth. Since our older boys were overdue, one by a week and one by 2 days, I figured this one would be late, too. I had a thought about this one coming a week early, but I must have forgotten that because I decided to replace my bathroom floor the week before he was due. My nesting instinct always seems to manifest itself in major home repairs. Our floor was rotted and we had a sewer smell at times. The smell got really bad, and I did not want to be in labor with that nasty odor.

I was planning a homebirth like I had with my last son. About ten days before my "due date," we took out the sink and toilet, and I spent the next couple of days ripping out the old floor and rotten wood. We live in an old house, and with each pregnancy I was doing lots of major renovations.

On Monday morning, (all my labors started on Mondays), I went to Lowe's to buy new wood. While there, I began to have back pains. Although they were mild, I had not previously had back pains. All my braxton-hicks contractions were always just in my belly. I even cried a little, hoping I wasn't going into labor at Lowe's. I was there about an hour and a half and had to ask questions of various salespeople about our project. I was really distracted trying to talk to these people, and when I finally checked out, I tried to give the cashier both cash and a debit card. I told her I was sorry, and that I had a lot on my mind.

I went home and carried my wood up my 38 steps, and then asked my husband, Matt, if he thought he would have cell phone service where he would be working that day. I told him I didn't think I was in labor, but I kept having these back pains. I told him several times to go on to work as I didn't think it was labor.

Actually, I was in denial. He knew I was in labor before I did. He said he could see it in my eyes. He stayed home and began urgently cutting boards for the floor, which is what I had planned to do that day. I remembered the acupressure points for labor I had found on the internet and decided to try them just in case I was really in labor. The first points I saw were for hastening labor. Since I did not want to be in labor, I passed on those and found some for pain relief. I was not in much pain, but I began to press on those points every time I had a back pain. The back pains kept coming, but I kept hoping I was not in labor. I did really like those points though. They made the back pains really short and they never got very painful. I was way too busy to try and time them.

I cooked breakfast and helped Matt with the floor, even going under the house through a hole in the floor to help hold some boards. The whole time, I just kept holding the points for the pains, which kept coming. I began to think maybe I was in labor and was not sure what to do. We were so unprepared to have a baby that day. We had no bathroom, the house was in shambles, the kids were sick, and I had not been to the store and was out of many basic food items. There was so much to do. The nest was not ready!

I asked Matt if I should clean or work on the floor. He said clean. I wandered from room to room, not knowing what was more important, the kitchen, bedroom, laundry? I decided to make our bed and sweep our bedroom floor as I was planning to fill a pool with water for labor, and I planned to put the pool in our bedroom. I then got out the pool and began to fill it with air. I kept thinking I wished it was already filled with water as I'd really like to get in! Our boys, Joshua and Daniel, were so excited that I was inflating a swimming pool in the house, and kept chattering and peppering me with questions. I finally managed to get the thing blown up, and told Joshua to tell Dad to bring in the hose to fill the pool. I didn't feel capable of getting the hose from outside and hooking it up by that point.

I felt like things were moving fast. Matt took a break from the floor to get the hose, and he hooked it up and began filling the pool. He wanted to call his dad to come help him with the floor, but I told him I didn't care about the floor right now! I had to throw up, which I did in both my previous labors. I went outside and threw up, and then came back in. Matt asked if he should call our midwife, Angy, and I said yes. He had asked me earlier, but I had said no. She laughed and said she was an hour away and probably wouldn't make it, but we knew what to do. I managed to brush my teeth and felt like I had to poop.

I got our temporary toilet, which was a five gallon bucket with our toilet seat on top, and a garbage bag and newspapers inside. I set it in my bedroom by the pool, and sat down on it. My water broke and I felt the baby moving down. I told Matt to bring me the coconut oil, then a spoon to dig it out with, which I then rubbed on myself to help avoid tears. With each contraction, I said, "Jesus, Jesus, Jesus..." Just like my second birth, I had three contractions as the baby came down with no effort or pushing on my part. On the third one, our new baby was born! Matt turned the baby over and announced, "It's a boy!" I had not had any ultrasounds, so we didn't know what we were getting.

Matt caught our baby wearing his work boots and covered in pressure treated sawdust. We had not even washed our hands as we had no idea the baby would come so fast. He got a bulb syringe from the closet (not new or sterilized, of course) and sucked out his nose and mouth, and a bath towel, which we covered him with as he lay on my lap. I told Matt he could turn the water off now! We called Angy and our parents to share our good news.

We were shocked. I had only realized I was in labor maybe an hour or so prior, and there we were with a baby! He let out a little cry just after he came out, and then just looked at us. He also nursed, peed, and pooped.

Joshua, who was about six and a half years old at the time, went outside when I sat down on the bucket, but Daniel, who was two years and nine months old, stood there and watched the birth. He got a little scared from all the blood, but we told him I was fine, and he got in the pool to play. Then Joshua, who had been outside whooping like an Indian, came in and got in the pool. Matt boiled some scissors and string, and after the placenta came out, he cut and tied off the cord. There probably wasn't much point in sterilizing anything by this time, though. Then, I got off the bucket and got in the pool with the baby, after having the boys get out, to get cleaned up. The water felt wonderful, and the baby really seemed to like the nice, warm water. At least I got to use the pool for something!

The midwives showed up about the time I was getting in the pool, which was about 45 minutes or so after the birth. I was glad it worked out that way. I had told Angy previously that I might not call anyone until after the birth. I had been reading a lot about unassisted birth and really liked the idea of an intimate family birth.

I only had a tiny tear, more like a scrape, and didn't need any stitches. I never had any long contractions and they never got very painful. I had natural childbirth with the other boys, so I know what those long, painful contractions are like. Now, I tell pregnant women about those acupressure points! I found them at
http://childbirthsolutions.com/articles/acupressure-techniques-for-use-during-childbirth-and-pregnancy/.

Our little guy weighed 7 pounds and 4 ounces and was 21 inches long. In the midst of all the excitement, we didn't look at a clock when he made his appearance, so we tried to determine the time of birth based upon when Angy's phone showed Matt called. We put 1:25 PM on the birth certificate, but I think we were off a little. I think it was probably between 1:20 and 1:25.

When he was almost three weeks old, and after much discussion, we finally put a name on his birth certificate, Christopher Joseph. Naming a person is very difficult!

Even though I wanted him to come later so I could get the bathroom done and go to the store and have the house nice and clean, we were so thankful it all happened the way it did. We still kept working on the house, only with a new, sweet little baby in it!

Homebirth vs. hospital birth letter to my pregnant friend

Here's my most recent letter to my pregnant friend that I wrote in response to her mentioning that she would like a waterbirth. Since she is planning a hospital birth, I told her that I didn't think the OB would let her use the tub. I also asked about this on a midwife friend's Facebook page and am posting that discussion as well.

Most pregnant women automatically plan to birth in a hospital, and use an OB for prenatal care. They do not consider other options. Unfortunately, OBs and hospital typically greatly interfere in the natural birth process. Everything about our modern medical model of pregnancy, labor, and childbirth is one interference after another.From the first vaginal ultrasound at the first prenatal appointment, followed by many repeat ultrasounds, which are NOT proven safe, and babies are often shown trying to get away from the ultrasound, the interferences begin.

At the doctor's convenience, artificial induction of labor is scheduled, or even an elective cesarean section. The many interferences continue, and the laboring mom is never left in peace to do what her body needs to do to birth. Electronic fetal monitoring, being confined to bed, episiotomies, and birthing flat on your back are all the norm. If she fails to birth within the doctor's time frame, a c-section results.

Then the interferences with the baby begin. Immediate cord clamping, separating mom and baby, circumcision for boys, formula, vaccines, and more are all very common. Moms should be very thankful if they manage to leave the hospital with themselves and baby in one piece.

The typical homebirth is a night and day difference from the typical hospital birth. Labor begins naturally on it's own, and progresses without interference from anyone. Mom does whatever she feels like doing, and when baby arrives, she holds and feeds her baby without interruption.

Here's my letter to my friend.

Hey Mama!
I've got a FB thread I want you to read at http://www.facebook.com/joyinbirth#!/joyinbirth#wall
I asked a midwife friend on her wall if anyone knew about being able to have a waterbirth at Women's and Children's Hospital. So far, two people responded, the midwife and another friend who is a childbirth instructor. I think you will be very interested in the responses. Also, the midwife, Jennifer, said to call her if you have any questions at 304-552-6909. She was the birth assistant at Daniel's birth, and is a very sweet Christian lady.

A lot depends on what kind of birth you want. If you want a natural, unmedicated waterbirth, you will not get that at a hospital. You really need a midwife if you want that type of birth. OB's and hospitals constantly interfere in labor and birth. Their entire protocol begins and ends with interferences. They induce everyone nowadays, which is a big reason why we have such a high c-section rate. One interference leads to another. Inductions massively increase your risk of a c-section. Unfortunately, that's what popular now among OBs. I guess they like being able to schedule births at their convenience. I don't know anyone who is not induced except for moms using midwives. Jennifer said women have a 50% chance of getting a c-section if they are induced! I believe it! I know lots of women who wound up with a c-sec after induction. The women I know are even being induced BEFORE their due dates!

Anyway, if you don't mind taking drugs and getting an epidural (which are bad and risky in many ways for you and baby--I can tell you all about that if you want), don't mind being induced, (which causes far more painful and frequent contractions and has risks including uterine rupture), and being confined to a bed to labor (YUK!), don't mind a corkscrew in your baby's head to continuously electronically monitor contractions, don't mind lying on your back to birth (which is the WORST possible position to be in!), don't mind an episiotomy and immediate cord clamping and separation from your baby as they do who knows what to him, don't mind the hospital staff feeding him formula, don't mind the high risk of c-section, don't mind being told what you can and can't do and how you are "allowed" to labor and birth, etc, the hospital is a fine place to birth. If you don't like the idea of this likely scenario, then please seriously rethink your intended place to birth.

I am very happy to stay with you and help you in any way no matter where you choose, but I just want to make sure you are aware of what hospital birth looks like. You CAN have a natural, gentle birth in a hospital, but you need to be prepared to fight for one. It can be very hard to fight against a threatening and intimidating hospital staff in the midst of labor, which often requires your full concentration. That's why many women give in to whatever the staff wants to do to her. On the positive side, having a doula present is a proven help as the doula is there to both assist the mom and advocate for her and her wishes. Doulas really help to lower the chance of interferences as she can stand up for the mom when the mom is too focused on labor to stand up for herself. Also, the doula helps the mom remain relaxed and focused, which tremendously helps the mom to progress normally in labor and birth. The hospital environment is contrary to relaxation and focus, but the doula greatly helps. I would be serving you in an unofficial doula role.

Other important things to do to lessen the chance of a c-section are to refuse induction no matter how much they pressure you, and labor at home as long as possible. Don't go to the hospital until you are in active labor. Women who go to the hospital in early labor are far more likely to wind up with all sorts of interferences. An induced woman is at the hospital the whole time! I personally don't think you need to go to the hospital at all, but of course you need to do what's best for you. I don't think you even remotely qualify for being high risk! Our bodies are designed to birth, and they know what to do! Trust your body.
I love you!!!!!!!
Christy


Here's the Facebook thread.

Christy Lindsey

I have a question for Jennifer and anyone else who may know the answer. My dear friend is planning to birth at Women's and Children's Hospital in a couple of months and mentioned that she'd like to have a waterbirth. I told her that she needs to ask her OB, but I was under the impression that the tub is only used by ...the midwives who have hospital privileges that work through the birth center. Does anyone have any idea about this? Do ANY OB's actually let their patients use the tub?

More from me:
I, um, always think that the typical hospital protocol is to get the baby out asap using whatever means necessary, and that letting laboring women use a birthpool doesn't exactly fit in with the "assembly line" style of hospital births. I would LOVE to see her switch to a midwife, but I plan to stay with her and help her in any way I can during her labor no matter where she births. I am going to encourage her to refuse induction and labor at home as long as possible, but I worry because I know she will be relentlessly pressured to get induced. I know far too many women who were induced and wound up with a c-section. :(

From:

Sarah DeGroff

No. Only the midwives allow their patients out of bed at all (let alone to use the tub). OB protocol is break their water early (4 cm) and confined to bed until delivery including using bedpan (no getting up even for bathroom). Anyone who disagrees w/ this may want to reconsider their place of birth b/c trying for anything different will put her as a target of hostility by all staff.

MWs will allow some mobility @ CAMC & EFM on for 20 min & off for 40 min. OBs there will want continuous EFM (in bed).

More CAMC birth protocol: after a non-complicated vag birth, mother can expect to hold the baby only 20 min out of the first 3 hours after birth, thusly: after birth, immediate cord clamping & cutting & baby is taken to the other side of the room for routine procedures & evaluation for 40 minutes. Mom is then offered baby to hold for 20 min, then baby is taken away to the nursery for 2 more hours of procedures & evaluation. It is possible for a mother to fight for something different, but it will entail a real power struggle.

From:
Joy In Birth Midwifery

I'm not 100% of the answer to that, not knowing all the policies there (which is something we've talked about trying to acquire), but typically, OBs/nursing staff do not feel comfortable with a mother not doing things the "normal" way, wanting her to have continuous monitoring, etc. I can pretty much say that actually having a BIRTH in the water in hospital is out...labor might be a possibility. But, without being under a midwife's care, even in the hospital, I'd be surprised if they'd even let her labor in it. If she truly desires a waterbirth, she needs a midwife! Have her call me with any questions she has if you think I can be of help.

If she asks her doctor about it, also have her ask how many of his mothers labor in the tub, and how many ask for it. Maybe she'll actually get an honest answer without being paid lip service.


More from me:

Thank you all so very much!!! Truthfully, I am very afraid for her to birth in the hospital for all the many reasons you all are so aware of! She has said she doesn't want a c/s, but there is such a high probability of getting one, not to mention all the other many numerous negative interferences with the natural birth process and early bonding with baby. :( It really upsets me how hospitals treat laboring moms, birth, and then the babies. I hate for anyone to suffer these things, but of course am even more concerned for someone so close to me. I know a lady who told me she actually thought the hospital staff was trying to kill her during a labor and birth because of everything that happened. Her story was quite horrific! Epidural didn't work, they didn't believe her, proceeded to do an episiotomy and pour saline over it, which of course she felt, while she was confined lying down and all this was happening! Add some very rude and uncaring L & D nurses to that scene as well. And of course this entire brutal experience occurred during hard labor. I felt so bad for her. Tragically, many women have hospital horror stories to tell. It's no wonder there is such a fear of birth!

Anyway, thanks Jennifer for inviting her to call you. I will definitely let her know that! I'll direct her to this thread as well. You all are so phenomenal! Thank you!!!


More from Joy In Birth Midwifery:
Christy, stories like that literally make me cry. It hurts my heart to know that women are not treated with love, respect, honor, and care. It can be so much better than that. The midwifery model of care is so contrary to the medical model of care. Oh for more births that make women smile in the telling of it!